The past few days

I've had a rough last couple of days. I ran into my ex-best friend at Wal-mart the other day, and I couldn't get the guts to even go into the store because we haven't talked since like August. If you don't know me very well, I can't handle it when people don't like me, or if we have a problem. I like to fix things. So needless to say this has bothered me ever since then. I thought I was over it, until I saw her.

I called my friend and made her come to Wal-mart with me just so I wouldn't have to go alone. Not gonna lie, we handled the situation pretty immaturely, but it was the only way I was going to make it through without completely breaking down.

Yesterday I met her mom to get some of my stuff that I've been trying to get for awhile, but we've both been so busy it hasn't been possible. All day my stomach was in knots because I wasn't sure what was going to happen. I knew I was going to cry. There was no avoiding that. So adding to the stress she was late getting there because she had to find my stuff, so that only made the knots and butterflies and everything else going on in my stomach even worse. When she finally got there she just had a huge smile on her face and said she was so happy to see me.

We started talking about my first year of college, what we've both been up to and so on. Then we started talking about what happened between her daughter and I. She doesn't understand it, and I still don't. She asked me if I'd prayed about it. I said I'd tried but that just wasn't the answer I wanted. She said that she's the same way. She doesn't like to wait for an answer she just wants to fix everything herself. At this point we kept going on about some minor details about what could have happened and of course I lost it. I felt as if I lost my other mom in all of this mess.

She had done so much for me last year. She made my prom dress, bought stuff for me, took me to the lake, let me vent to her, gave me advice, and let me stay at her house all the time. I honestly thought she was going to hate me when we met. But it's the polar opposite. She said she thinks about me often and that I'm still like a daughter to her.

Last night I went to church with my little freshman and we had a praise night. It was just what I needed. I haven't had that in so long it's crazy. Then she and I talked after and it really helped a lot. She said she understands how I feel and she wants to know what happened just as much as I do.

I'm sorry this is such a depressing post. Just thought I'd let you know what's happened the last few days. I've been kinda quiet lately cause I'm trying to figure things out.

I guess we'll see what happens.

Song of the day:
Mighty to Save - Hillsong