Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today

Six years ago on Sunday, I decided to give my life to Christ on Father's Day. As cliche as it is, I thought it was a great Father's Day present to him. Since then, a lot of trials and obstacles have come into my life. Some of which have pulled me away from him, others have brought me closer.

At the moment, I'm still on my way back. Moving was one of the biggest obstacles I've had to overcome. When we first moved here, we couldn't find a church that we all could agree on. I wanted a close youth group just like my old one. I wanted an amazing youth minister, just like my old one. And that was the problem. I wasn't open to change. I wanted things to be as close to my old church as possible, which was never going to happen.

So I decided that I just wouldn't go to church, and unfortunately that continued for a long time. I would go to church, but I wouldn't care that I was there. It was just something I did, it wasn't something I wanted to do.

But things are changing, and God is definitely moving in my life.

Yesterday Jessica Hatcher passed away. She was a girl that went to my high school. I never knew her until I saw her in the parking lot one day, and I couldn't figure out why she was bald. Finally the pieces came together and I realized she was the cancer victim that our school was raising money for. By the end of my senior, her junior year, she beat the cancer and things were going great. When I went back to my school to visit this past year thought, the cancer had come back. And unfortunately it took her life last night.

There wasn't a time that I saw her that she didn't have a smile on her face. She's an excellent example of how God wants us to act. No matter what obstacles are thrown in our path, we should be happy because we have God. He's the one we can always rely on, when everyone else bails on us.

She truly will be missed here, but we all know that she is in a better place and she isn't suffering anymore.

She has opened my eyes to realize how limited our time is here on earth, so why should we waste our time worrying about who's dating who, and what the next big thing is? We should be focusing on what is important, like all the people out there that don't know a thing about Christ. "Go therefore into all the nations baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit." The verb in that is GO. Jesus told us to GO and tell the whole world about him. So why are we sitting on our lazy butts and not showing Jesus' love to others.

We should be helping those in our communities that are less fortunate. We should be helping those in other countries that can't even feed their own families. We should be helping. Not basking in all our worldly goods.

Okay I'll step off my soapbox now. But really, what are we doing?


Song of the Day: Give me Your Eyes - Brandon Heath

Breathe.

This summer so far has been pretty laid back. Compared to last summer, it sucks, but I still have faith that it will get better. Basically I'm just working my butt off this summer to save my money because I'm very bad at that.

I'm working on campus, babysitting, working at a church, and taking any other opportunities that come up. On top of that I'm trying to make time for my friends and boyfriend so that I can actually enjoy my summer as well.

So far, it's working out. I wish I could just sleep until whenever, go to the lake everyday, and enjoy my summer, but I'm afraid I'm out in the real world now.

On a happier note, I've actually started going to church again, and I really enjoy it. I didn't realize how much I missed it. I was bummed that I didn't get an internship for the summer, but I think God was trying to tell me that I wasn't ready for that yet. I needed to figure out where I was with my relationship with him before I tried to start guiding a bunch of confused teenage kids.

But I'm excited to see what's going to happen next summer.

Some more good news, I got my ear pierced :)

So this may have been a very pointless blog, but it's the best I could do with my boring life ;)
Song of the day: Breath - Anna Nalick

The past few days

I've had a rough last couple of days. I ran into my ex-best friend at Wal-mart the other day, and I couldn't get the guts to even go into the store because we haven't talked since like August. If you don't know me very well, I can't handle it when people don't like me, or if we have a problem. I like to fix things. So needless to say this has bothered me ever since then. I thought I was over it, until I saw her.

I called my friend and made her come to Wal-mart with me just so I wouldn't have to go alone. Not gonna lie, we handled the situation pretty immaturely, but it was the only way I was going to make it through without completely breaking down.

Yesterday I met her mom to get some of my stuff that I've been trying to get for awhile, but we've both been so busy it hasn't been possible. All day my stomach was in knots because I wasn't sure what was going to happen. I knew I was going to cry. There was no avoiding that. So adding to the stress she was late getting there because she had to find my stuff, so that only made the knots and butterflies and everything else going on in my stomach even worse. When she finally got there she just had a huge smile on her face and said she was so happy to see me.

We started talking about my first year of college, what we've both been up to and so on. Then we started talking about what happened between her daughter and I. She doesn't understand it, and I still don't. She asked me if I'd prayed about it. I said I'd tried but that just wasn't the answer I wanted. She said that she's the same way. She doesn't like to wait for an answer she just wants to fix everything herself. At this point we kept going on about some minor details about what could have happened and of course I lost it. I felt as if I lost my other mom in all of this mess.

She had done so much for me last year. She made my prom dress, bought stuff for me, took me to the lake, let me vent to her, gave me advice, and let me stay at her house all the time. I honestly thought she was going to hate me when we met. But it's the polar opposite. She said she thinks about me often and that I'm still like a daughter to her.

Last night I went to church with my little freshman and we had a praise night. It was just what I needed. I haven't had that in so long it's crazy. Then she and I talked after and it really helped a lot. She said she understands how I feel and she wants to know what happened just as much as I do.

I'm sorry this is such a depressing post. Just thought I'd let you know what's happened the last few days. I've been kinda quiet lately cause I'm trying to figure things out.

I guess we'll see what happens.

Song of the day:
Mighty to Save - Hillsong